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Five Ways to Take the Sting Out of Divorce

  • by Danielle Montalto-Bly
  1. Find an attorney who will “tell it to you straight.” The right attorney will walk you through each step of the divorce process, providing you with all the information you need to make an informed decisions related to custody, child support and/or division of property. The right attorney will understand that their client is dealing with a flurry of emotion and change, will provide you with honest advice based on their previous experience and advocate objectively of your behalf, allowing you to preserve your energy and rest well knowing your matter is being managed properly.  

  2. Be patient. Settle In. Things Will Not Happen Overnight. If you are litigating a case it means you have acquiesced to the Court’s schedule. The system allows for delays, some more legitimate than others. However, if you try to rush the process mistakes can be made, details can be overlooked and pressure can mount, leading to agreements that ultimately lead to “signer’s remorse.” Accept the fact that this will not be over quickly, knowing that it will be done right. 

  3. Love you children more than you hate your spouse. It’s understandable that clients get caught up in the emotion and pain of a separation. The other side may have done some terrible things to you, but are they a good parent to your child? Does your child want that relationship? Interfering in relationships between parent and child not only leads to long-term emotional issues, but will likely create unnecessary challenges in settling your divorce matter as well. Be sure to foster the relationship between the children and their other parent. Clients who take the “high road” are always more successful in the end. 

  4. Block out the noise. It’s not uncommon that family and friends all become relationship and legal experts when you are going through a divorce. Too many opinions can leave you even more confused than when you started. While it may feel good to commiserate with others about shared experiences, every situation is different and must handled as such. Be sure to limit the advice you receive to the experts and you’ll save yourself some serious headaches. 

  5. Consider a prenuptial agreement. Prenups are more than just protecting assets. They memorialize the way things would go in the event of a divorce and help to avoid future litigation stemming from emotion or spite. Speak to a professional before you get married to understand what would happen in the event of a divorce and alleviate the “what ifs.” You could potentially be saving yourself thousands of dollars in legal fees and years of litigation.